LONELINESS Ag Herman 10/07/16
My 71st Wedding Anniversary!
Loneliness is
not a disease we can medicate, nor is it a garment we can shed. It is a disconcerting fact of life that we
can fix, if we try. It is easy to say “woe is me” and lie down, give in
and give up. On the other hand, we can
examine our loneliness, try to understand it and find out how to minimize it.
Since my
husband died almost eight years ago, I have experienced that lonely feeling in
a way that does not compare to anything I have ever known. It is not the childhood complaint, “I have
nothing to do, no one to play with, I’m bored!” nor is it the young adult
whining, “It’s Saturday night and I don’t have a date!” I try to manage my days. There are numerous
opportunities for my involvement, satisfying ways to keep busy. Here at Seacrest Village, the program is
varied, seductive and inviting. But my
nights are lonely. Old movies and new
ones do not entice me. Memories of
sharing our loveseat, holding hands and whispered critiques continue to erode
my complacency.
I am not
looking for sympathy. I am attempting
to assure those of my readers who are experiencing loneliness, that you are not
alone! A recent poll indicates that one
in four Americans have no one to confide in, they are lonely. That is bad news! Loneliness can lead to isolation; isolation opens the door to
depression! Lonely folks are frequently
more vulnerable to illness and early death.
There are ways to beat the odds.
I find that having music in my apartment helps create a happy, pleasant
ambiance, it is there when I return and keeps me company as I wade through my
day.
I find
that there is therapy in a walk outdoors.
When I do, I sing to myself, argue with myself and forget the latest
petty irritation on the phone or in the dining room. Lengthy phone calls with old friends and/or family members
provide great satisfaction, we do not talk of visiting as much as we discuss
the day’s fun, the humorous experiences we enjoy and of course, the old days
when we were kids together. Reminiscing
can be fun and therapeutic.
Reading
and writing are the primary weapons in my war with loneliness. Everyone has a talent: singing, swimming or
sketching; playing with the children or walking the dog, others garden, even on
our small balconies one can glory in a garden’s growth.
Above
all there is the stream of events that take place here at Seacrest
Village. Whether one participates and
enjoys a Sabbath Service is a matter of taste or desire. Shopping is fun for some; others prefer
playing “Judge Judi” and still others gain from Torah study. There is scrabble and yoga, knitting and
computers. I could continue but I
believe that everyone reading my words has his or her favorite Seacrest
activity. Here at Seacrest loneliness
is a choice, not a necessity.
Loneliness is my very own
secret
that embraces me each night.
Catching me by surprise,
then
chased by the morning sun.
Each night,
as the sun begins to set,
it’s there.
Before I tire and yawn
or think of my cozy bed.
As if to keep me company
my loneliness arrives,
it has become a friend.
It returns with memories
for me to savor,
it touches
my heart where my beloveds
rest!
