Loneliness

LONELINESS                                                    Ag Herman   10/07/16

                                                                   My 71^st Wedding Anniversary! 

     Loneliness is not a disease we can medicate, nor is it a garment we can shed.  It is a disconcerting fact of life that we can fix, if we try.  It is easy to say “woe is me” and lie down, give in and give up.  On the other hand, we can examine our loneliness, try to understand it and find out how to minimize it.

     Since my husband died almost eight years ago, I have experienced that lonely feeling in a way that does not compare to anything I have ever known.  It is not the childhood complaint, “I have nothing to do, no one to play with, I’m bored!” nor is it the young adult whining, “It’s Saturday night and I don’t have a date!”  I try to manage my days. There are numerous opportunities for my involvement, satisfying ways to keep busy.  Here at Seacrest Village, the program is varied, seductive and inviting.  But my nights are lonely.  Old movies and new ones do not entice me.  Memories of sharing our loveseat, holding hands and whispered critiques continue to erode my complacency.

     I am not looking for sympathy.  I am attempting to assure those of my readers who are experiencing loneliness, that you are not alone!  A recent poll indicates that one in four Americans have no one to confide in, they are lonely.  That is bad news!  Loneliness can lead to isolation; isolation opens the door to depression!  Lonely folks are frequently more vulnerable to illness and early death.  There are ways to beat the odds.  I find that having music in my apartment helps create a happy, pleasant ambiance, it is there when I return and keeps me company as I wade through my day.

     I find that there is therapy in a walk outdoors.  When I do, I sing to myself, argue with myself and forget the latest petty irritation on the phone or in the dining room.  Lengthy phone calls with old friends and/or family members provide great satisfaction, we do not talk of visiting as much as we discuss the day’s fun, the humorous experiences we enjoy and of course, the old days when we were kids together.  Reminiscing can be fun and therapeutic.

     Reading and writing are the primary weapons in my war with loneliness.  Everyone has a talent: singing, swimming or sketching; playing with the children or walking the dog, others garden, even on our small balconies one can glory in a garden’s growth. 

     Above all there is the stream of events that take place here at Seacrest Village.  Whether one participates and enjoys a Sabbath Service is a matter of taste or desire.  Shopping is fun for some; others prefer playing “Judge Judi” and still others gain from Torah study.  There is scrabble and yoga, knitting and computers.  I could continue but I believe that everyone reading my words has his or her favorite Seacrest activity.  Here at Seacrest loneliness is a choice, not a necessity.                              

Loneliness is my very own secret

that embraces me each night.

Catching me by surprise,

then chased by the morning sun.

Each night,

as the sun begins to set,

it’s there.

Before I tire and yawn

or think of my cozy bed.

                                                                              As if to keep me company

my loneliness arrives,

it has become a friend.

It returns with memories

for me to savor,

                                                                                            it touches

my heart where my beloveds rest!