Aging is Daunting

     Aging is indeed daunting; it is not for sissies.  Aging makes the hands tremble, aging makes us sleepless or sleepy all the time. It makes us forgetful, sometimes, to a frightening degree.  We do tend to blame “aging” for each thing that provides an obstacle to our comfort. Last week I made terrible errors; it took all the energy and lies that my friends could muster to stop my anguishing. 

     Imagine my embarrassment when the man from AT&T looked at my TV that he was supposed to fix and said, “you should not have called us, you are under contract to Time Warner!”  Omigosh, there are some very understanding people on the job, that man helped me save face, pride and confidence: “Do not apologize, it’s okay.”

     Why do I write so much about aging?  The answer is simple, that is what I do right now, what I have been doing for 92 years.  Yes we start to age at the moment of birth, as young ones we glory in the addition of each year, cannot wait to grow bigger, older, bolder, more independent.  When does that change?  I look around me and decide that there is no specific time that we stop wishing to be older, more mature.  That seems to be part of the “aging” process that is highly individualized.  I love each birthday, some of my friends will not even celebrate theirs.

     My Mother was an old lady at 67, the year she died.  I have been trying to think what was I, where was I at 67?  That is 25 years ago. A huge contrast between Mom and me.  I was living in this house, cruising around the world with my husband who played chaplain on cruise ships.  In those days the economy allowed the cruise line to “treat” the chaplain and his wife to the cruise and all its goodies.  We danced each night afloat and had a very good time.

     Once when we got tired of the incessant water on a world cruise, we dropped out wrote and read and walked the decks while everyone else was in the dining room.  Room Service and those fast walks saved our sanity.  It was the deep breath we needed.  There are times when we all need to stop and take a deep breath.  Even today as I contemplate the errors I make, the wrong numbers I call, the appointments I forget, the promises I have to write down, I tell myself: “Stop, think, take a deep breath and you will remember!”  And I do!

     The other day I thought I was on the fast track to nowhere when the TV went out, my computer misbehaved and most of my friends who help were unavailable.  After I corrected my errors in judgment and action, my biggies were on the road to recovery.  Why do I share such everyday nonsense with you?  We all go through this process one way or another.  Together we are chagrined, embarrassed and self-condemning.  I think it is important to share so that not one of us thinks he/she is alone and a bumbling idiot.

     Gail Sheehy said, “Life must be understood backward and lived forward!”  Life lived backward means that we squeeze the most out of experience to allow us to move forward, to do a good job at the art of living.  A good job means we do our very best to continue to live, contribute, try to remain healthy and enjoy.  Aging must not be seen as a stumbling block though it provides limitations, our job is to continue to live and be the very best we can be.  I want my young friends also to know that aging can be long on wisdom and fun!