Happy I DID IT…………………………….…….01/11/16

   I did not want to become a crabby old woman and I was fast getting there. I needed to make life more pleasant for myself, needed to stop housekeeping and meet new people.  So I decided to move into Seacrest Village.  I have discussed the possibility, such a change has been on my mind for a couple of years.  It was not easy to uproot and turn my back on the wonderful life that Erv and I had carved out of the muck and mud of Lions Gate.   He left me to handle it alone almost eight years ago.  My safety and comfort were always his prime concern.  So for the first time in many years I made the big decision and moved fast.

   At this time more than a week after the move, I believe I did the right thing.  Everyone that I have run into has been welcoming and kind; those who are not,  simply do not make eye contact.  A woman at breakfast one morning, someone I had not met, was gracious and eager to talk a little.  I learned that she has much on her mind, I offered empathy, that seemed to be enough. There was nothing I could do but listen. Her husband had fallen and broken his hip, she was not feeling hopeful about his chances of full recovery.  But despite the worry and fear she needed someone to talk to,  a listener!  I was pleased to listen.

   I am learning that even “young” women and men in their sixties carry a burden, a portion of the world’s troubles, on their back. Everyone has a touch of something unpleasant or worrisome that he/she is willing (often eager) to talk about; it is clear when the subject is taboo.  We are experienced enough in the ways of the world to know when to back off.  One must tread carefully; show interest but not curiosity.  That requires a delicate balance.  People are as eager to hear others’ stories, as they are to tell their own.  Next week at our table we are going to discuss the event in our lives that was the most frightening, scary and threatening.  We discussed the subject and decided “it is not going to be easy, but we will get to know each other better.”  

   The idea of getting to know one another better is consistently a top priority; it is why we have come together here.  I find the folks around me interesting.  We are a variety, a cross-section of the American Jewish Community that arrived in America from many places and then made geographic choices that frequently depended on the kids’ location.

   So at 93++I have moved to the Seacrest Village retirement home.  Moving is never easy.  Packing up to go some other place is never a quick sprint.  The baggage we accumulate over the years and through different emotions is a heavy burden that comes along with us, it is not to be shaken off.  That baggage has made us who we are today.  I relish the knowledge that I will no longer have to plan my meals or arrange for the cleanliness of my walls.  The perks are great.

   Of course I miss the independence of choosing when to eat, but I retain the privilege of choosing what to eat, there are choices and substitutes.  Yes, I find I can even have scrambled eggs for dinner, if that is my choice.  Dessert will be my downfall because there is always ice cream.  At home I did not do dessert…but now it is there to be enjoyed.

   As I am not trying to entice a man to my room, who cares about the waistline?  I have already had a visit to the gym to offset my indulgences.  I am happy that I have moved to Seacrest.  I am surrounded by people who are eager to be friendly, to have fun, to enjoy good food and to feel safe.  At 93++ I cannot ask for anything more!