Happy I DID IT!

Happy I DID IT…………………………….…….1/27/15
I have no patience with crabby, whining old women and I feared I would get there. I needed to make my life more pleasant, more constructive, I was eager and impatient to stop housekeeping and meet new people. So I moved into Seacrest Village. I played with the idea, its possibilities and repercussions many times in recent months..
As my friends will recall, I even paid a two-day visit to the facility. I needed to have a taste. It was not easy to uproot and turn my back on the wonderful life that Erv and I had carved out of the muck and mud of Lions Gate. He left me to handle it alone almost eight years ago. My safety and comfort were always his prime concern. So for the first time in many years I made a big decision by myself, for myself, and moved without looking back.
At this time more than three weeks after the move, I know I did the right thing. Everyone that I have encountered has been welcoming and kind; those who are not usually have great problems of their own. Just the other day, a woman at breakfast, someone I had not met, was gracious and eager to talk a little. I learned that she has much on her mind. I offered empathy, that appeared to open the spigot of her woes. There was nothing I could do but listen. Her husband had fallen and broken his hip, she was not feeling hopeful about his chances of full recovery. She needed someone to talk to, a listener! I was pleased to be the one.
I am learning that even “young” women and men in their fifties, sixties and seventies carry a burden on their back, a personal portion of the world’s troubles. Everyone has a touch of something unpleasant or worrisome that he/she is willing (often eager) to talk about; it is always clear when the subject is taboo., intuitively we know when to back off. One must tread carefully; show interest but not curiosity. That delicate balance is achieved, I believe through experience. People are as eager to hear others’ stories, as they are to tell their own if we give them an opening. The table, that invited me to join them for the first night’s dinner, have become my dinner table mates. During the week someone picks a topic for discussion, for “table talk”. During the week folks share experiences around the topic of the week. It is interesting that it never interferes with an ordinary day’s reporting: “guess what happened on our bus tour today!” But the subject of the week is kicked around for a week. It is a great way to get to know each other.
The idea of getting to know one another better is consistently a top priority; it is one reason we have come together here. Loneliness has a top spot on all our lists of reasons for choosing Seacrest. I find the folks around me interesting. We are a variety, a cross-section of the American Jewish Community that arrived in America from many places and then made geographic choices that frequently depended on the kids’ location.
So at 93++I have moved to the Seacrest Village retirement home. The physical act of moving is never easy. Packing up to go some other place is never a quick sprint. The baggage we accumulate over the years and through different emotions is a heavy burden that comes along with us, it is not easily shaken off. That baggage has made us who we are today. The need to separate and weed out what we take with us, was, for me, the hardest part of moving. A special friend helped with the actual packing but gave me the ultimate decisions. It was up to me to choose, discard and decide where something would go in my apartment.
I had the good fortune of being able to return for something I had forgotten. But now the house is being readied for sale, I can no longer turn back. So be it! I will either buy a new pot (if I really miss mine) or do without.
I relish the knowledge that I will no longer have to plan my meals or implement the cleanliness of my surroundings. Those perks are awesome. Of course I continue to miss the independence of choosing when to eat, but I retain the privilege of choosing what to eat, there are choices and substitutes in the dining room. Yes, I find I can even have scrambled eggs for dinner, if that is my choice. Dessert will be my downfall because there is always ice cream. At home I did not do dessert…but now it is there to be enjoyed, a couple of extra pounds have found me.
I tell myself, that in as much as I am not trying to entice a man into my apartment, who cares about the waistline? The gym is an important ingredient for my well being. I trust a visit to the gym will offset my indulgences. I am happy that I have moved to Seacrest. I am surrounded by people who are eager to be friendly, to have fun, to enjoy good food, to feel safe and to learn. At 93++ I cannot ask for anything more!